Light hearted jokes !!

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Deleted User 732

Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by Deleted User 732 » Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:24 am

Nice one Bev and so apt.

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lexie
Posts: 226
Joined: Sun Mar 13, 2016 5:46 pm
Location: Chichester

Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by lexie » Tue Mar 24, 2020 8:11 am

If Pam Ayres was here
I’d buy her a beer,
Could do with her rhymes
In these difficult times
To help us chuckle and laugh.

She’d stop us being maudlin
With tales of food hoardin’
Like tins stored around the edge of the bath.
Food of all kinds,
57 varieties of Heinz,
Hoops balanced on chick pea pilaf

But be careful how you get in.
Else you’ll be hit on the chin,
By avalanche of falling provisions,
Those square tins of spam
They don’t give a damn
About your fragile nether regions
R-Sport 200ps Ammonite grey, parking pack, split fold rear seats, space saver, 14 way seats

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Gojira
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Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by Gojira » Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:30 am

My local Sainsburys only had a couple of tins of Spam left yesterday, so things must be bad! :o
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BevC
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Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by BevC » Tue Mar 24, 2020 10:38 am

There are 5 people on a plane - Pep Guardiola, Juergen Klopp, Jose Mourinho, Brendan Rogers and a 10 year old schoolboy. The pilot comes across the intercom to say the plane is crashing and they need to bale out - the only problem is there are only 4 parachutes. Pep Guardiola grabs the first one saying “Manchester City needs me - we have so much potential that needs to be realised” and jumps out. Jurgen Klopp grabs the second one saying “Liverpool needs me. We have this really great run going and we really need to see this through” and jumps out. Jose Mourinho grabs the third saying “I’m the special one. Tottenham Hotspur and the football world needs me” and jumps out. Brendan Rogers turns to the schoolboy and says “I’ve had a good life and achieved a lot of things. You’re at the start of your life and have yet to reach your potential. You take the last parachute”. The 10 year old looks at Brendan with a grin and says “Don’t worry there are 2 parachutes left not one - the special one took my satchel”.
Current MY2019 Corris Grey/Oyster Portfolio 180 Auto AWD
Previously MY2015 Polaris White/Ebony Prestige 163 Manual

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PhilB
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Location: South Buckinghamshire

Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by PhilB » Tue Mar 24, 2020 11:09 am

A few more funnies:

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pilot-jpg.4111.jpg

Doesn't history repeat itself???

IMG-20200323-WA0001.jpg

2019 Evoque P300 HSE, Carpathian Grey.
2017 XE S 380, Carpathian grey.
2015 XE S 340, British Racing Green.

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lexie
Posts: 226
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Location: Chichester

Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by lexie » Wed Mar 25, 2020 8:35 am

There was a man called Chris Whitty,
Who's job was more than a bit sh**ty,
Trying to keep everyone healthy,
He should be knighted or wealthy,
If there's anything left in the kitty.
R-Sport 200ps Ammonite grey, parking pack, split fold rear seats, space saver, 14 way seats

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lexie
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Location: Chichester

Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by lexie » Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:35 pm

There was a man from Poole
Who was known to be a bit of a fool
He’d bought lots of meat
More than he could possibly eat
As he had no way of keeping it cool
R-Sport 200ps Ammonite grey, parking pack, split fold rear seats, space saver, 14 way seats

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bob_mcn
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Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by bob_mcn » Fri Mar 27, 2020 8:59 pm

Having a great time in isolation, just feeding the ducks. :roll: :D

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Bob McN.
Oct'16 to Oct'18: Caesium Blue, Portfolio 240, MY2017, selection of addons.
Oct'18 onwards : Caldera Red, XE 300 Sport, MY2019, bigger selection of addons
viewtopic.php?f=10&t=6930&start=20#p77545

spritely
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Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by spritely » Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:38 pm

Very Droll Bob, Ha ha.
Corris Grey 180D R sport - loving it.

Deleted User 732

Re: Light hearted jokes !!

Post by Deleted User 732 » Sat Mar 28, 2020 7:35 am

Someone is getting bored :lol: :lol:

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